JS-Kit/Echo comments for article at http://smallestminority.blogspot.com/2010/06/and-right-after-posting-that.html (53 comments)

  Tentative mapping of comments to original article, corrections solicited.

jsid-1277263501-195  Barrett B. at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:25:01 +0000

Not trying to stir up trouble here but both names have made the rounds via email the last couple of years.

jsid-1277264051-631  Justin Buist at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:34:11 +0000

The wife and I nixed a possible boy name before our child was born simply because 20-30% of everybody that heard it the first time got it wrong.  We'd say 'Wesson' and they'd hear 'Weston' so out it went.

Backstory:  Early on in the pregnancy I joked with my wife that if it was twin boys we should name 'em Smith and Wesson.  And Wesson actually grew on her after we found out it was just (thankfully!) a single baby in there.

Alas, we had a girl and gave her the name Eleanor.  It's a name that everybody knows but hardly anybody uses these days.  So, it's unique enough for us but won't look stupid at the top of a resume.  And, yes, we always consider what a name will look like on a resume.

Obviously not every parent does.

jsid-1277265374-251  khbaker at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:56:14 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277264051-631

They tarted-up a '67 Shelby Mustang and christened it Eleanor for Gone in 60 Seconds.  Unfortunately for me, every time I hear that name I think of Eleanor Roosevelt.  That name and that car do NOT go together.

jsid-1277264483-864  Borepatch at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:41:24 +0000

The kid's lives will be all down hill from the delivery room.

jsid-1277265480-525  khbaker at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:58:00 +0000

The "Shithead" one is hearsay, so I wouldn't doubt it if it was a Snopes' urban legend.  My sister, on the other hand, works in a school that Le-A attends.

Sometimes people really are that stupid.

jsid-1277561642-347  Tam at Sat, 26 Jun 2010 14:14:02 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277265480-525

Really? 'Cause when she got sick, they brought her to the hospital Bobbi's neice works at.

jsid-1277267680-963  eeky at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 04:34:40 +0000

What God-fearing European hasn't been tempted to name his twins  * and Obelisk.

Is this thing on?

jsid-1277398460-691  Adam at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 16:54:30 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277267680-963

disclaimer - Not a European...

jsid-1277277756-895  kahr40 at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:22:36 +0000

Ball peen hammer my ass. I'll loan him my Hipower

jsid-1277285341-641  Will at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 09:29:01 +0000

Suddenly, the way France (and other Euro countries?) handles names makes sense. They have an official names list, and if you use an off-list name, the kid does not qualify for government programs of some un-remembered  sort.

jsid-1277290736-492  Toastrider at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 10:58:56 +0000

Some of these names look like results from the random generator I use to make names for D&D characters...

jsid-1277291012-194  GrumpyOldFart at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 11:03:32 +0000

I feel like I can't complain, because of some of the names I grew up with. No, not made up names, genuine names that actually mean something in the language of their ancestors.

I guy in Salt Lake City whose ancestry I assume was Polish or Russian or something. Tom Klc. No, that's not a typo, it's pronounced "kleese". Perhaps his parents were too poor to buy a vowel, I don't know.

A Hawaiian girl in LA, Heather Mewha. Pronounced "MEE wah".

A guy from American Samoa whose name was, I kid you not, Malamalama Tweplahake. Trying to explain how to properly pronounce that one would probably take more words than I've already written (and still would have very doubtful chances of success), so I'm not even gonna try.

jsid-1277297929-464  Ed "What the" Heckman at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:58:52 +0000

Out of curiosity, I looked this up on snopes.com. The article isn't conclusive, but it is interesting.

'Course, this post reminds me of Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue".

Finally, it's ironic that Kevin brought up the Shelby Mustang, given that the Shelby designation comes from Carroll Shelby. Yes, Carroll is a guy, and he's apparently still alive and kickin'.

jsid-1277300508-134  Splodge Of Doom at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:41:51 +0000

My parents jokingly thought about calling me Ptolemy, just to mess with people's heads.

My Mother has very erudite but somewhat eccentric parents, and ended up Karin Lias Gisella.

My sister probably got the shortest straw because no-one outside of the family seems to be able to manage "Elspeth" without some really weird verbal contortions.  Unless they're from Scotland, anyway. :-P

jsid-1277300813-284  GrumpyOldFart at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:46:53 +0000

I don't know about the R(only) B(only) Joneses, but to the best of my knowledge, a man I know named J.D. Phillips (no name, just initials) never had any trouble with his paychecks, not even when he was in the Navy.

jsid-1277301333-182  Vox at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:55:33 +0000

We have an employee named "Loyal Servis"

Go ahead, try to ignore *that* on a resume.

jsid-1277301557-242  Pat at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:59:17 +0000

I agree with Snopes that reports of names such as Shithead and Gonnorhea ("Unintended Consequences", John Ross) are probably apocryphal. However I've attended a few exhibitions of paintings and photos by elementary and junior high school students, and I see Black kids being interviewed on TV. There are many young people being born with contrived names, many using apostrophes. It is still a mystery to me where these names are coming from. I don't think they are derived from African languages as a matter of ethnic pride.

One of the local TV stations runs photos of kids celebrating their first birthday. The other day I saw only one name that would have been used in my generation. The boy's name was something like Buddy Lee Richardson. With a name like that, I thought stereotypically, he'll either end up in NASCAR or on death row.

Look up the "Wayne Lee Ray" conundrum. That's a subject in itself.

jsid-1277304228-358  Ed "What the" Heckman at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:43:48 +0000

My great-grandparents apparently considered naming my grandfather From Hagen. (Frahm Hāgen) I'm not sure how seriously they considered it, or whether that was supposed to be his first and middle names or a two part first name. They settled on naming him Thomas. But they did keep that name alive and apparently teased him with it from time to time. In fact, that one followed him all the way to his deathbed where my grandmother and the rest of the family still teased him about it.  :)

We named my daughter Edrea (e-DREE-a), which we still think is really pretty. (Yes, I realize it's similar to my name, but that didn't really occur to me until she was about 3.) Even with such a relatively simple name, it's amazing how many people still get it wrong, even after frequent correction. (Andrea, Edra, Edraya, etc.)

jsid-1277307662-407  perlhaqr at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:41:02 +0000

I have an acquaintance named "3ric".  So, punctuation in names isn't all that odd to me.  And, of course, everyone knows my pal, Bobby Tables.  (http://xkcd.com/327/ )

jsid-1277307666-748  Matt B at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:41:06 +0000

My sister is naming her kid after my grandmother, who was named Mary. The name she is giving her daughter? Kamary. It actually took me 30 seconds to realize what she did. Ugh. 

jsid-1277311367-662  khbaker at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:42:48 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277307666-748

She's naming her kid after a car?  (Camry?)

jsid-1277311618-184  Budd Moss at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:47:15 +0000

There's a realtor in my area named "Beth Null Dorris." I can only figure that her parents didn't give her a middle name, so instead of "NMN," they typed "null"--and nobody has had brains enough to figure it out.

jsid-1277312785-233  GrumpyOldFart at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 17:06:31 +0000

My last name is Orton.

When my mother and father were discussing names for me, his first choice was Norton.
When my mother wouldn't have it, he tried for Orson. Then Orville.

He was probably joking and wouldn't have gone through with it.... but I don't know that, either.


jsid-1277316113-990  geekwitha45 at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 18:02:37 +0000

My mom told me that "Zebulon" was in serious contention, and made the final 3 for my name.


Well, I guess I have that to be thankful for.

jsid-1277320277-438  LC Scotty at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:11:17 +0000

My son (due to arrive any moment) will be named Landon, but I was lobbying hard for Atticus.

jsid-1277321082-372  khbaker at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:24:42 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277320277-438

Not James Tiberius?

jsid-1277321958-333  Pandora at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:39:18 +0000

20 years ago, sister wanted to name her first (if it was a girl) "Niqui", otherwise known as "Nicki/Nicky".

Because having to constantly spell out, and pronounce, our five-letter last/family name apparently wasn't instructive.

jsid-1277323414-752  DC at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:03:34 +0000

And my parents joked about calling me Wolfgang Aloysius, since I apparently was rather active while in the womb...

Thank goodness they didn't go with Plan A!

jsid-1277323998-97  Stephen R at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:13:18 +0000

Nicholas Cage, actor and noted comic book freak, named his son Kal-El (that's Superman's Kryptonian name).

jsid-1277328587-789  khbaker at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 21:29:47 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277323998-97

. . . which is, just perhaps, better than Frank Zappa naming his kids "Dweezil" and "Moon Unit."

And then again, maybe not.

jsid-1277333253-146  GrumpyOldFart at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 22:47:33 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277328587-789

Or Gwyneth Paltrow (wasn't it?) naming her child Apple.

Nobody expects any sense out of Hollywood or the music industry, do they?

jsid-1277497359-843  Stephen R at Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:22:39 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277333253-146

Apple I don't mind, actually.  Apparently Paltrow is *extremely* religious, and thus named her child with a Biblical reference (though why she would choose something representing *temptation* for her child is a bit beyond my ken).

jsid-1277333868-186  Phil R. at Wed, 23 Jun 2010 22:57:49 +0000

After a spell working data entry, for a while there I found myself thinking "There ought to be a law that says children can only be named after saints."  I got over it, which is lucky, since I'm an atheist.

Of course, you can go wrong even then.  F'r'instance, what did Dermot and Maureen Tester decide to call their baby girl?


I'm hoping they just decided to give a false name, to entertain the likes of me and trip up the draft board.

jsid-1277345400-839  kahr40 at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 02:10:00 +0000

I wanted to name my oldest daughter Murphy, not after that Brown bitch, but just because life was like that. Wife nixed it. She was right. Using the name would have been asking for trouble when we had troubles enough. 

jsid-1277350524-702  Oakenheart at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:35:24 +0000

I worked in Memphis at a electronics repair shop. We had a guy that came in all the time -Nosmo King. His mom couldn't think of a name, so she said the first thing that came to mind - the "No Smoking" sign.

jsid-1277360319-971  el coronado at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 06:18:40 +0000

am just waiting for the inevitable counter-revolt backlash among the hipster individualists. when you start seeing kids named john, or mary, or george, or debbie, you'll know it's finally come full circle. the trick is not too be **too** hip too fast. name your baby girl bertha, or gertrude, or mable, or clara, and she will go lizzie borden on your ass.

boys are easier. they'll cheerfully live with joe, or bob, or tom, or bill. (although secretly, every boy worth his salt wants to be named "nick". and a midddle name of "tiberius" will, they know, bag them lots & lots of babes.)

jsid-1277393058-154  Ken at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 15:24:18 +0000

(sings): "My name is Sue/HOW DEW YOU DEW!"

My mom has often said that if she'd read To Kill a Mockingbird before I was born instead of after, my name would be Atticus.

jsid-1277398414-485  karrde at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 16:53:34 +0000

Well, I've seen a few names which are hard to parse...

As far as parental humor goes, there's the kid from the Arena family. He and his parents live in the Detroit metro area, IIRC. They named the boy after boxing great Joe Louis.
Thus, he is named Joe Louis Arena.

Somewhat like this structure, home of Detroit's Red Wings hockey team.

I think it was deliberate, but I'm not sure. Anyways, the kid ended up with "Joe", and a name that might be meaningful to a bunch of hockey fans.

jsid-1277417845-767  Cynical at Thu, 24 Jun 2010 22:17:25 +0000

It's time to start calling the kind "Lahyfena".

Back in the 90's, the animated cartoon The Tick featured a newscaster named Brian P'naid.  Spelled "Pinhead".  And who can forget Tom Lehrer's "Hen3ry", with the silent 3?  Life imitates art.

jsid-1277490224-847  Justthisguy at Fri, 25 Jun 2010 18:23:45 +0000

Walt Mooney, who was an aero engineer and a serious aerophile, named his kids after airplane manufacturers. He had Curtiss Ryan Mooney, Douglas Martin Mooney, and Chrislea Bea Mooney.
Had to go with an airline for the middle name of the last one.  Hey, Sarah Palin named her kids "Bristol" and "Piper!"  I do think that "Convair" or "Airspeed" would be going a bit far, but "Caproni" sounds kinda cool.

jsid-1277490393-112  Justthisguy at Fri, 25 Jun 2010 18:26:33 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277490224-847

P.s. There's a web site called "Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing." Its URL is something like "notwithoutmyhandbag."  It has many pages of horrible names.

jsid-1277493059-210  McThag at Fri, 25 Jun 2010 19:10:59 +0000

My brother is named Herkimur Horatio.  My dad came up with it while drinking and my step-mom said, "You are _NOT_ naming him that!" thus making it a point of honor.  Herk's managed to adjust fairly well.

jsid-1277497659-538  Stephen R at Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:27:39 +0000

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out an excellent gag from 30 Rock -- the wacked out character referring to his doctor "Doctor Spaceman".

Later we meet the character, and that is actually his name, but pronounced "Spah-CHEH-min"

jsid-1277527842-468  Dutton at Sat, 26 Jun 2010 04:50:42 +0000

I worked with a TSgt Shi-theed.

I'd mess with him and call him Seargent "Shitty D"  (Shit ee d).

Does that count as a messed up name?

jsid-1277570188-979  hecate at Sat, 26 Jun 2010 16:36:29 +0000

A friend was scrubbed in at a delivery that resulted in the baby being named Meconium.  Seems the genius mother heard the word at the hospital and thought it sounded pretty.

jsid-1277582725-672  Ed "What the" Heckman at Sat, 26 Jun 2010 20:05:33 +0000 in reply to jsid-1277570188-979

I wonder what the mother and kid will think of it once they find out what it means. Not to mention how much st*t the other kids at school will give him for it.   :::  still looking for that evil grin smiley  :::

jsid-1277612868-93  JebTexas at Sun, 27 Jun 2010 04:27:48 +0000

I guess my nut ball Alabama great grandpa's gen takes the cake so far... 8 sibs, among them Omer (O-mer) John Ergle (my name sake), and the winner, Mergatroid Alouicious (Al-oo-ish-us). Today that would cause one to learn to fight early.

jsid-1277643404-813  GrumpyOldFart at Sun, 27 Jun 2010 12:56:44 +0000

My father's (yes, the same man who threatened "Norton Orton") nickname for me when I was a wee tad was Alouicious P. Snodgrass III.


jsid-1277680980-39  Justthisguy at Sun, 27 Jun 2010 23:23:00 +0000

Speaking of airplanes and names, let us not forget that great actress, Swoosie Kurtz. She was named after the B-17 her Dad flew, the famous Swoose, now owned by the Smithsonian.

jsid-1277814159-167  staghounds at Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:22:54 +0000

Awful, to condemn a child to have to spell and explain his name EVERY FREAKIN DAY OF HIS LIFE.

If I were a poor black Ms. Jefferson from the projects, I would give my child the whitest pilgrim name I could think of. Like,

Winthrop Brewster Eliot Jefferson IV.

If it were a girl, I'd leave off the IV though.

If I were a poor white person from the projects,  an Hispanic name-

Jose or Maria Ramirez-Smith.

And put his blue eyed, blonde ethnicity down as Hispanic. He'd get lots of affirmative action goodies,  yntil the racial courts got started.

jsid-1277860640-63  DJ at Wed, 30 Jun 2010 02:25:19 +0000

Several decades ago, a hotel opened in Earth City, one of the gazillion small municipalities of the St. Louis metropolitan area. It was the (compri) hotel. Yup, the opening and closing parentheses were part of the name. It didn't last long.

jsid-1277941208-684  Guest (anonymous) at Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:40:08 +0000

Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg were the daughters of a rich Texan. The women-only Hogg dorm at Texas A&M has been the subject of jokes for decades.  In other words, funny names ain't a new issue.

jsid-1278208015-769  Phil B at Sun, 04 Jul 2010 01:46:55 +0000

Kevin was ahead of the curve :


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